I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
even my farts smell like vagina
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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