She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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