the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
