I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
