Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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