"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Found your dick twin last night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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