i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
