she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
