My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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