What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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