mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
