Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

You realize it's finals week?

(408): View more from California

Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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(903): View more from Texas

she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.

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(707): View more from California

I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.

(1-707): View more from California

is that even a sentence?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.

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(518): View more from New York

Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.

Fav 4 38 107
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(408): View more from California

Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried

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