come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
