East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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