Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
