Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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