i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize