evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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