I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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