Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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