Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
