your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
