the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
