Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
