The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
