I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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