Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
