She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
