she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
