we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
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I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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