That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
