What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
