I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
operation harelip BJ is a go
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
