He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Buhtt sex?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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