i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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