is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So squirting runs in the family.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
