I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Vodka?
Forever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
