got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
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Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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