you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
