I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
