call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
