He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
