Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
