How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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