Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You were trust falling into bushes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
