Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
