i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
