i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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