Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
