He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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