Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
