Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
