I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
barbara walters just said penis...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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