This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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