happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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