sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
be right there i have to get my cape
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize