What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
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Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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