Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
