He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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